I believe in man’s innate goodness

I believe in man’s ability to harness the forces of nature

I believe in the efficacy of water to sustain plant and animal life

I believe that figments of our imagination can take on a greater reality than the brute physical world that circumscribes our existence

I believe evil is ultimately a figment of our imagination stemming from an over-worked sense of guilt

I believe that objects heavier than air may one day fly

I believe in the power of crunchy peanut butter to sustain all plant and animal life

I believe that flat tires are the work of the devil

I believe that if I eat enough devil’s food cake I will live forever